Her Name Is Rachel
by EvelyneHope
Summary: After everything Rachel has been through, she finally finds courage to admit what she really feels. But will it be enough to win a heart of a girl she always longed for? FABBERY


Autor's Note: Okay, so I really hope everyone will like it. Just like everytime: Sorry for my english, I try my best. ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the the fictional characters, cause if I did... FABERRY ALL THE WAY! But I don't, tho -,-

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_**"Her name is Rachel"**_

She hated herself for doing this. Out of all the things she did in her life, the last one on the list was to hurt Finn, but she had no other choice. Either she would stay with him and make him her enemy for the rest of their lives or she would break things up before they got too complicated and make herself look like a heartless bastard. And even though the latter option wasn't so tempting either, she truly believed that after everything she's been through, she could put up with few more slushies' in her face until they graduate. After all, she fully deserved them.

Surprisingly none of that came. Everyone was equally mean or nice to her, just like nothing happened. And it bugged her. It bugged Rachel so much, that she wasn't sleeping trough out the nights, eating during the day, all because she thought that if nothing happened for now, then soon she will have to face something far bigger than slushie .

While she was eating her lunch during break, her thoughts wandered off to the conversation she had few days ago with her fiancée at that time. She had invited him over to talk and she remembered she never was that nervous in her life. Finn came over fifteen minutes after eight, gave her 'hello' kiss and sat on her bed. What terrified Rachel, was that pure love in boys eyes. And she really, _really_ liked him. He was always there for her when everyone else wasn't, he always helped her and gave her advices – even if they were the most stupidest advices on earth, Rachel still appreciated them. And now she had to throw it all away just because she was too blind to realize some things before he proposed. Before she even started dating him.

She sat at the edge of her bed and looked at him with sorrow. "Listen Finn…" she started, but somehow she didn't know what to say next. It was all too much for her. But what he said shocked her much more than anything and she lost ability to speak for few minutes.

"I know, Rachel. You want to break up, right?" he asked with a faint smile, even though a deaf person would hear pain in his voice.

"Listen, it's not that I hate you or cheated on you, but I need to be fair with you cause that's exactly what I expect from other people. And what you want, you give, you know? So you need to know that maybe now I'm really happy and the idea of wedding just absorbs my every thought, but what about after the wedding?" She stopped there for a second and grabbed his hand. "You are a great boy, Finn and you will always have special place in my heart, but I know who I am, and I am more than sure that after we would move to New York together I would make your life miserable-"

"What? Is that about giving up my dreams for you again? Cause I've already told you I-"  
"No, it's not about that. I'm glad you finally have a dream now and that you'll be in New York with me, cause you are my friend. But marrying you would only make you hate me after all and I don't want that." She said quietly and longed for some kind of understanding in his eyes, but they were emotionless.

"How can you even think I would hate you for marrying me?" He asked in disbelieve. Rachel shook her head and moved closer to him.  
"It's not that you'd have a choice, Finn. I would do _everything_ to make you hate me, just so you could feel how unhappy I would be. And before you even think about it, it's not that I wouldn't be happy cause you were by my side. I would be unhappy cause I didn't take every option under the consideration before marrying." She explained. That was the truth though. She really needed to see if the feelings she had are real or is that just something she made up to break things with the boy. Either way, she had to end this cause otherwise she would choke to death in this relationship.

"So you're basically telling me, that you're breaking up with me cause you want to experiment with other guys?" He raised his voice slightly which a bit terrified Rachel.  
"No, I'm breaking up with you cause I don't want to end up in a situation where both of us will be unhappy and miserable for the rest of our lives" she whispered, tears filling her eyes. Finn reached out to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"So, ending this would make us happy?" he asked one last time.  
"I think so… yeah" she answered and looked up to see his face. "But that doesn't mean we need to stop being friends, Finn."

"I know, Rachel. I just want to see you happy. And if that means we need to break up the so be it. Just so you know, I still love you and probably always will". He whispered in her ear before he kissed her head and stood up to leave.

"Thank you, Finn" said Rachel and made boy turn around. "Thank you for being so understanding" she added and sent him a small smile. Finn looked at her and turned around towards the door. But before he did it, Rachel saw in his eyes something that made her feel that everything's going to be okay.

"Berry? BERRY!" demanding voice pulled her out of daydreaming. She looked at her side just to see Cheerio latina sitting next to her. And what was she doing here?

"Now, I would really appreciate if you stopped screaming in my ear, Santana. My hearing abilities might be damaged because of that and I obviously can't let that happened" Rachel explained while she stabbed her salad with her fork.

"So I care, little munchkin" she sighed. "I heard you broke up with Finnderella, huh?" she asked pleased with herself. Question made Rachel somehow neutral. She didn't feel anything; loss, sadness. She just felt… nothing.

"Yes, I did. Not that it's any of your business" she huffed and moved her lunch away.  
"Did he do something to you? Cause ya know, I can go all Lima on his sorry ass if you want" she proposed with a smile on her face. Was she being nice to Rachel?

"Excuse me that I ask, but are you okay? I don't know if you noticed, but you are weirdly nice to me today and I don't know what to make out of that. Are you planning on doing something outrageously awful to me after I fall for that act of kindness you're showing just now?" She asked suspicious. Her question made latina smirk as she grabbed red apple that was sitting on Rachel's tray.

"Listen, Small Fry. I don't know by which dictionary you were raised by, but when I say I can go Lima on someone for someone, then it's an act of madness. But I said that, cause truth to be told, Berry – you look like shit." She said while scanned Rachel up and down. Since the brake up Rachel changed her lifestyle. The lack of sleep and food was now seen under her eyes and cause of her clothes. "You lost like twenty pounds, Berry Leprechaun."

"Aren't you a bit overreacting, Santana? Why are you eve- Did Finn sent you to ask me how am I doing, cause if that's so you can tell him that I'm completely okay if he comes by himself-"  
"Slow down, singer. I wasn't sent by Finn but by Quinn." Sudden warm feeling went through Rachel veins and her heart started to beat faster.

"What? Why of all the people she's the one that's worried?" she asked latina who rolled her eyes.

"Get your shit together, Berry. She has a hots for you. Had for like two years but you've always been so busy with that boob-monster Finn to notice." She bite an apple and chew on it for some time while Rachel was thinking about what she said.

"Isn't she straight or something?" Rachel asked and Santana's laugh filled the cafeteria.  
"Yes, singing fruit, Quinn is as straight as you are. So you two should synchronize or something and get this party started." She stood up and placed apple core on the tray. "Get what party star-"  
"Baby Jesus, just get into her pants already, Berry and save us all time and trouble!" Santana said and left with Brittany who was waiting by the exit. Rachel eyes immediately went for a search and she found blond girl sitting by the window, pretending to read something. Rachel knew she was pretending, cause whenever she really was reading she tended to move her lips and now she didn't. Which made her think, was she watching that whole scene? That thought made her happy. Too happy.

Rachel collected her things and went to the choir room. She put her bag on the ground and stared at the chairs in the room. She never really thought about how they sat, cause normally, every glee kid sat wherever was available. What she noticed just now was that somehow Quinn always sat somewhere near her. Okay, she's being paranoid now. Quinn could never feel that way towards her, no. But just the thought of it made Rachel so overwhelmed , she couldn't resist to smile. Few people asked why she broke up with Finn. Mercedes, Tina, Puck. Even Artie was curious. And she always said that same thing: it was better that way, but we're still friends. And that was truth. They were friends. They still talked and sometimes laughed together. Even though Finn kept a safe distance from brunette girl and Rachel knew that, she was content with what she had with him after everything she dragged him trough. What others didn't know, was that the true reason was much difficult and complicated. She had felt something, but not towards Finn. It was a blond cheerio that stole her heart few years ago. The moment she saw her she knew Quinn was special. The way she walked and acted told so much about her and still no one could read her, at least she thought no one could. But Rachel did. She couldn't describe how much she was hurt when Quinn slushied her every day, when she wrote that awful things on bathroom walls. But she kept straight face the whole time cause Quinn always meant so much to her. And then Quinn got pregnant and even thought of her and Finn in one bed, making a baby made Rachel sick, even now. But she pretended to be jealous about Finn and the she started dating him and for once she forgot that longing feeling that always filled her and replaced it with that poor substitute of love that Finn offered her. And maybe that was selfish and she's supposed to feel bad about it, but the truth was she didn't. And then she almost married him. But cause of what happened with Quinn she promised herself to bring back the feelings she wanted to bury so much. Cause when she found out that Quinn was in car accident, her whole world fell apart. Cause if something happened to her, she wouldn't dare to go on. And that exactly was the moment when she realized she can't hide her feelings anymore, cause one day it might be too late. Specially now, since they will graduate soon. But what should she do?

Rachel sighed heavily and turned around few times making her skirt twirl. Quiet laugh filled the room and Rachel looked at the door. Quinn was standing there with a small smile, but the one that was pure and honest, cause when she smiled like that her eyes smiled along. "Nice dancing, Berry" she said softly, smile never leaving her face. Rachel smiled back and light blushed covered her cheeks.

"Why, thank you, Quinn" she answered and looked at her in awe. "What are you doing here? Glee will start in an hour and you have history now so I-"

"You know my plan?" Quinn asked amused and walked into the choir room. Her sundress swayed with her steps until she sat down on a chair in the last row. Blonds question made Rachel uneasy and her palms started sweating. "I-I… well, um… I remember plans of other gleeks too. You know, to be prepared." Wow, she was surprised how well that lie came out. But she wasn't sure Quinn was convinced, cause she eyed her suspiciously which made her even more uncomfortable.

"Nice try, Berry. But you won't fool me" she said and swung one of her long legs on another.

Rachel frowned. "Why are you calling me Berry all the time?" she asked somehow sad. Quinn's smile fell from her face.

"I had no idea it's problem to you" she explained with concern. "I'm sorry, Ber- Rachel" she said and smiled again hoping she will forgive her. Rachel's heart skipped when she heard her name on Quinn's lips. It sounded so foreign coming from her. "It's okay" brunette said excited which made Quinn laugh. Sound made Rachel shiver a bit and she stood there proud of herself that she made cheerio laugh. After a while Rachel turned around and sat in front of the piano and pressed some keys to break the silence.

"You play?" Quinn asked curious and looked at hands of a smaller girl. "No, not really. But I'm pretty good at playing scale" she joked and made Quinn laugh once again. Words that slipped from Quinn's lips right after that made her stop immediately.

"You are really adorable, you know?"

Rachel felt like she was in a bathtub filled with lava. Her gaze locked with Quinn's and she knew that blond girl didn't mean to say that; at least out loud. But she did and that made her so happy that she didn't know what to do. She wasn't that type of a girl that cried over small things. Romantic movies made her tear up a bit but that was all. She didn't even shed a tear after she broke up with Finn, but now? She didn't know where that came from but she just burst out crying like a little girl that lost her favorite doll.

Quinn looked around the room. She was practically terrified by what she said, but she never, in her wildest dreams, would've guessed that she will make singer cry. She said a lot of awful things to her and she never cried; yes, she was making her life a living hell which killed her, but she had to keep her popularity then. And even though now she is kind of friends with her, she still hates herself for what she put Rachel trough. And when she finally says something nice, despite the fact she should've kept that information to herself, she makes girl cry. And that makes her hate herself even more.

After a second Quinn got up quickly and rushed towards the girls who had her face covered with her hands. She kneeled down and unsure what to do next she patted her on the back. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry."

Rachel wanted to die right there. She will always be so ashamed of this moment. She never felt so humiliated in her life, no slushie or insult made her feel so useless like her act in choir room.

Quinn sat next to the trembling girl. "Can you give me tissue? It's in my bag." Blond girl heard and bent over to get tissues from big brown bag. She handed them to Rachel who took one and wiped tears from her cheeks. A quiet laugh filled the air and Rachel smiled to herself.

"I'm sorry, I probably look so pathetic right now" she said and reached out for another tissue, but Quinn was faster. She took one and folding it in half she brought it up her face and fixed Rachel's make up. After that she threw it on the piano, looked back at girl and whispered "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen".

That were the exact words Rachel used on a prom year ago. And while she truly meant that, she always thought Quinn forgot that long time ago. But here they were, exactly the same as they were that night, holding their breaths cause their closeness made them nervous; in a good way. Rachel desperately wanted to do something, to make her understand that she was more than just a friend to her, always was. But there was no easy way to say it nor show it. Or was there?

Quinn looked so innocent right then. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were sparkling like winter snow and Rachel wanted to kiss her so badly, but she knew that it would be too much. She would scare her off and that would break her heart.

"I broke up with Finn" Rachel said and looked at Quinn to get some reaction from her, but all she did was looked away. "So I've heard."

"Aren't you curious why? I mean, everyone seems to be really interested in that subject" Rachel tried again. Her words made Quinn look back at her, but this time her eyes were emotionless and cold, just like when she was insulting Rachel years ago. But brunette knew better than that, she knew blond was building a wall that kept her from getting burned.

"Just cause you were with Finn doesn't mean suddenly everyone will talk about you, Berry" she snapped immediately regretting her words. The hurt on Rachel face was so visible she felt her heart tear apart. How could she be so stupid? Making the same mistakes over and over again?

"I know tha-"  
"No, I'm sorry, Rachel. I just don't really like talking about Finn. I know it's no reason for me to be harsh to you, but it's just…" Quinn looked at her hands. "No matter what he does, it always seems to have bad impact on me. I don't like not being in control of my life, you know?" Girl asked and brunette nodded in agreement.

"You know, I've always knew what I wanted in my life" Rachel started while looking in the distance. In the corner of her eye she saw the attention Quinn gave her so she continued. "I know I'm going to be a Broadway star, this I know for sure. But up until now I had no other dreams. I used to think that marrying Finn is my dream, that it would make me somehow whole. But what you realize is that no matter how much time you spend with someone, they always turn out to be something different than what you expect." Quinn held her breath which made Rachel look at her. "Everything's okay?"

"Did he do something to you? Hurt you in some way?" she asked somehow furious.  
"No! God, no. Why everyone thinks he did something to me?" She looked at Quinn curious and sighed. "Anyhow, I was talking about myself. I couldn't recognize myself. Cause I always knew that no matter what I want, if I will work hard enough I will get it. And I was never afraid of failing, cause I was brought up that way. But one day I realized that my whole life I've been running away from one thing that actually can make me whole; can give me everything I've ever wanted. And I ran away from it cause I was afraid of being let down." Rachel turned around to look at Quinn who was gazing at her with so much passion and feeling that it almost made brunette cry once again. Her shaky hand grabbed slim fingers of Quinn's hand and when she felt them tightening the grip, she felt relieved. Never breaking the gaze she took a deep breath." I guess what I'm trying to say, is that….-"

Santana's laugh filled the room, while she walked in with Artie and Mercedes who were talking about something. Latina stopped dead in her tracks and the sight of her best friend with Rachel Berry, holding hands. Quinn quickly moved away and stood up smoothing her dress, looking everywhere besides Rachel, while brunette could do nothing but gaze at her to find some kind of silent message that they will talk about it: soon, never. They always had bad timing.

Santana gave Quinn knowing look, but former cheerio just shook her head and turned around to sit back on her chair. "So, what's up, Berry? You got into her pants already or you need my inevitable advise?" asked latina but she was met with ice cold glare from Rachel. "Knock it off, Santana" she said and moved to sit in the chair too. Cheerio turned around in disbelieve and anger boiled in her veins. "Listen, Berry! I-"

"Her name is Rachel" Quinn hissed trough closed teeth while she gave Santana death glare. Latina immediately shut up and with a smirk she walked away. Rachel couldn't believe her own ears. Did Quinn just defended her? It was all too much for one day. She felt so lost in the madness of it all that she found it hard to take a breath cause she was too afraid to wake up.

Soon Glee gathered and they were given new assignment by Mr. Shue who was more edger about it than every kid all together. During Glee Quinn and Rachel shared only one look. Quinn eyes showed how much she regretted that sudden interruption caused by their friends. And Rachel was more than okay with that cause she knew that with this look, Quinn gave her a green light.

_5 days later… _

Rachel looked at the clock for what seemed like a thousand time. Everything was moving so slowly and if she had to stay there few more minutes she would rather kill herself. She was never a big fan of math but that day her patience was far more limited than any other. Finally, blissful sound of the bell filled the quiet school and everyone started leaving despite the demanding voice of their teacher, that told them to stay in their seats.

Brunette collected her books slowly and got up long after her teacher left. She felt so tired these days, like someone sucked all of the energy out of her little body. She stood up and just before she wanted to leave the class, she was pushed inside with such force, she had to grab the nearest chair not to fall. Quinn looked at her with a bit concern, but after she was sure Rachel was okay, she turned around and closed the door.

"Quinn, wh-" Rachel tried to find out what's going on, cause sudden appearance of blond former cheerio made her more than surprised. Since their talk in the choir room few days back, all Quinn did was avoiding her. And she was quite good at that. Rachel didn't see her for whole five days, she even missed the Glee club where Rachel hoped to find her. And now here they were, standing alone in an empty classroom.

"We need to talk" Quinn said and more than calm sat in front of a standing girl. She knew that brunette was far more confused than she was, but if they won't talk about that thing before Glee started, she will go nuts. "About that thing in choir room."

Rachel looked startled. "I don't kno-"  
"You perfectly know what I'm talking about. And I bet all my money that was the only thing you thought about since that day" blonde said and made singer sit in front of her.

"From where you've got that idea that it was the only thing that occurred my mind? Don't you think you are a bit ahead of yourself?" Oh God, she was so bad at lying. Especially to her. What scared Rachel was that the blonde was completely right.

"Cause that's all I ever did" Rachel heard in response and that made her scared even more. Cause suddenly everything got real. She knew that if they will start this conversation now, there will be no turning back. They will never be the same anymore. It was all or nothing for Rachel and she wasn't sure if she could handle not being able to talk to the girl.

But here she was, more than ready talk and gain the answers Rachel didn't really have.

"Listen, Quinn… it's far more complicated than you think" brunette said quietly and looked down. Again, she was afraid of losing that girl and whatever that was between them.  
"Well, let me decide about that, okay?" Quinn answered and reassurance in her voice made Rachel sigh. There was no way she could tell her what she felt, cause she was more than sure that she will be sent away with nothing. She couldn't, she just…

Silence filled the room and the only thing that was hear was ticking of the clock.

"Okay then, I'll start…" Quinn took a deep breath and Rachel looked at her in horror.  
"Start what? Please, for the love of God, don't say anyt-"

"I love you."

Rachel couldn't believe her own ears. Did Quinn just said she loved her? That must've been some big, major misunderstanding. That couldn't be true, or could it? Brunette looked at the girl in front of her. She had her eyes closed and her knuckles turned white from holding on to the edge of her chair with all her strength. It really took her a lot to say it.

"You what?"  
"I love you. I suspect I've always did but whenever I tried to admit it myself, something stood in my way. And being gay for me is a really big deal. For you it would be some kind of natural – no offence – cause of your dads, but for me? I've put my mum with so much crap these past few years and I don't think that information would help her." Quinn opened her eyes and looked at Rachel so lovingly, that brunette felt she was about to cry. Blonde stood up and moved her chair closer, so she touched her knees with Rachel's and the sat down again. And still, when Rachel met her eyes, the same endearing look was there.

"But if I'll ever see you with Finn again, I'll never forgive myself that I didn't tell you this, just how I can't forgive myself how I awfully treated you in these past few years" Quinn's voice broke as she said the last words. No matter what she would do, how many times she would say sorry, she would never be able to make it up to her.

Rachel held out her hand and touched blonde's cheek while admiring how soft Quinn's skin was. "It's okay. I forgave you years ago." She whispered and smiled sadly, cause even though it was true, it still hurt. Quinn looked surprised.

"Really?" she asked and Rachel nodded in agreement. Quinn's face lit up and she covered brunette's hand with her own and placed a soft kiss inside of her palm. Rachel smiled and leaned in so when blonde looked up she was only millimeters away from girl's face. Brunette heard Quinn's breath hitch as she touched her lips with hers. As she felt blonde smile, Rachel moved her hand behind girl's head and brought her closer to depend the kiss. Just as the quiet sigh filled the air, Rachel pulled away and looked at Quinn with a bright smile.

"Just in case that wasn't clear enough, I love you too" she said and Quinn laughed freely.  
"Well, I think you should show me once again" blonde said as she captured Rachel's lips in another kiss. This time it was much more delicate, silent promise that everything's going to be okay.

Quinn pulled away and rested her forehead against Rachel's.

"We'll work things out, I promise" she said as she linked her fingers with brunette's.  
"I know, I know."

"Blain, listen to me! I don't like this color and therefore I won't wea-" Kurt stopped in the middle of his sentence and looked at his boyfriend who seemed to have much more important issues than their conversation. "You're not even listening to me!"

Blain shook his head like he woke up from some kind of dream and looked at Kurt with his sorry eyes. "I know and I'm sorry, but I have a weird feeling. Like, is everyone alright?"

Santana looked at boy with smirk from across cafeteria table and continued to eat her burger while absentmindedly talking to Brittany.

Kurt grabbed his boyfriend by his arm and turned him around so that they were facing each other. "Okay, I'm starting to be worried. Did you take something?" Kurt asked concerned, but Blaine only patted him on a cheek and with a sigh he started eating his lunch again, hoping for once he was wrong.

Few moments later Mercedes and Tina walked in cafeteria and looked around nervously to find their friends. Few seconds later they were both at the table everyone sat at and breathless joined them.

"You guys! You won't… bel-ieve t-this!" Mercedes started but she chocked on her own words from the lack of air. Artie and Mike looked at them confused and waited until girls both calm down.

"So I was going to leave my math books in my locker…" Tina started. "And when I was on my way, Quinn almost killed me while she ran to my math classroom and shut the door behind her."

"I was on my way to lunch but I met Tina in the corridor and we decided to walk together" Mercedes added.

"So while we were walking down the corridor we passed my math classroom!"  
"And imagine our surprised faces when we saw through the door window no one else but Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabrray!" Mercedes took a deep breath and continued the story. "So any who, we wanted to walk away, but just as we were about to leave I saw them getting really close, like _really_ close-"

"And she said: 'Tina, look!' So I looked and they, oh my god, they kissed!" Tina ended her friend's sentence and saw how they both left everyone else speechless. First one to talk was Kurt.

"Holy Mother of Barbra! Is that some kind of this MTV shows where you punk people and then you show up with a camera and everyone is laughing?" Boy looked around for cameras but saw none.

"Are you, like sure that happened? I mean, maybe she just hugged her?" Artie asked confused.  
"Come on, Artie! She kissed her on the lips! Berry _kissed_ Quinn! On the_ lips_!" Mercedes said shocked and sat down next to Santana. At the same time, Quinn and Rachel entered the cafeteria and went straight towards their friends.

Everyone at the table looked down.

"Okay people, let's just be breezy and cool and pretend that we don't know about anything" Santana said under her nose, loud enough for her friends to hear.

Girls approached the table and Rachel said 'hi' with a smile on her face.  
"Hi!" Tina said as she tried not to look at both of them.

Quinn sent Santana a weird look. "Everything's alright, San?" She asked and after Latina nodded her head, blonde shrugged her shoulders and turned to Rachel. "You want anything?" she asked, but Rachel just shook her head and with a smile sat down next to Blaine, while Quinn rushed to stand in line.

"How things are going, Berry?" Mercedes asked, but before she had a chance to answer she was cut off by blond girl who came back and sat in front of her.  
"Her name is Rachel" Quinn said and was rewarded by big smile from brunette.

Mercedes looked at Quinn confused. "What?"  
And then Santana's laugh filled the room and Rachel laughed along, cause after all, she had a great reason.

Rachel knew that her friends knew, but didn't say anything. She didn't care if her friends didn't understand her. All that mattered was that she finally was truly happy. She finally found that piece that made her whole.

_**THE END**_

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